Crazy Eyes

In my last post I mentioned crazy eyes being the last straw and thought I should probably take a moment to explain my theory regarding the stages of crazy.

Everyone has crazy in them but for most people it just kinda pools at the base of the skull, not bothering them unless they get clipped round the head or fall wrong. But for a select few, their crazy levels start to overflow and this is how I judge the water levels of crazy.

Crazy mouth – this is when the crazy’s started to brim over. It starts small, saying the occasional slightly weird things but for the most part, passable. Then a bit creepy, a bit more regularly. Finally, all the time, utterly nuts. Everyone has met someone who has reached this socially fatal place.

Crazy ears – where everything they hear goes through a crazy filter. With a person who has reached this level of absurd, even asking them “What colour is the sky?” can be misconstrued to an insult, an argument, a judgement, a death threat… The latter is obviously only in extreme cases, but you know what I mean. Crazy eared people are those that you cannot say anything to without them taking offence and hearing whatever they want to hear.

Crazy eyes – the penultimate step. This is the first warning sign that you must always look for when meeting new people because it’s like bright colours on a caterpillar – giving you a fair warning that this person has a very fragile grip on sanity. Once the crazy level has risen to the eyes, there’s not much in the way of safety to be had. There is only crazy mouth, crazy ears and seeing whatever their unhinged minds can cope with.

Cuckoo’s Nest – crazy is at maximum capacity in the skull, it has no where else to go. Pressure builds. Explosions happen. DUCK.


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